Tears Are The Silent Language Of Grief
by SSAPrentiss
Summary: Stella, 1 month after Michael dies. How she deals with her grief that's she's trying to hide. What happens when she discovers something about herself? Close friendship with Shannon and Josh. Hints of Shannon/Lawson relationship.
1. Chapter 1

**I know I shouldn't be posting another story when I already have one to finish, but this idea I couldn't shake. It is set 1 month after Michaels death and is mainly all about Stella. Please review and tell me what you think, I would love to hear your opinions.**

**The chapters are pretty short, and I don't know how many there will be, I hope you like it though. **

**Let's try and keep Rush alive on here, because some idiots decided to pull it off our screens. Hopefully they'll realize their mistakes and put it back on!**

WARNING: THIS STORY HAS SOME COARSE LANGUAGE AND MATURE THEMES. THERE IS SOME REFERENCING TO SELF HARM AND ALCOHOL/DRUG ABUSE. IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO THESE TOPICS I APOLOGIZE.

* * *

><p>Stella woke to her blaring alarm, groaning she rolled over. She sleepily hit the alarm to try and turn it off, glancing at the clock, 6:52 am.<p>

"Shit" she muttered, she was supposed to be at TR in exactly 8 minutes. She lazily got up and gathered some clothes, heading for her bathroom.

After she showered, Stella gazed into her cupboard searching for her tooth brush, when she saw something that reminded her to have an urgent girl talk with Shannon, 'ill call her in the car' she thought.

Stella walked down the stairs of her apartment block, into the garage below, she quickly walked to her silver Subaru WRX Wagon, unlocking it and throwing her bag in before driving towards Base. Once she had gotten out of her street she dialled Shannon's number through the Bluetooth stereo in her car.

"Hello?"

"Shan, it's me, I need to talk to you about something…"

"What is it, Stel?"

"…I'm late"

"Yeah, I know, Stel, What do you want me to tell Kerry?"

"No, Shan…I'm _late_"

"Shit, Stel…Alright, look, ill talk to you when you get in, yeah?"

"Yep, cya soon"

Stella hung up and continued driving to base, 'Shannon is becoming more and more like Lawson in the way she talks' she thought with a smirk, but couldn't shake the heavy, nervous feeling in the pit of her stomach.

* * *

><p>"Stella, running a bit late are we?" Kerry asked as Stella walked through the doors of TR.<p>

"Sorry, Kerry"

"Get your gear on, Shannon and Josh are waiting to go out"

Stella nodded and walked into the change rooms, 'at least I'm riding with Shannon and Josh, they're both my best mates, so I can trust them'. She quickly got changed and walked out to the garage, where Shannon and Josh were playing around near TR2, she greeted each, Shannon's compassionate smile was what she really needed to see before getting into the drivers seat of TR2 and taking off into the busy streets of Melbourne.

* * *

><p>The day had gone incredibly slowly, it seemed like all the crime in Melbourne had taken a day off, leaving the cops with nothing to do except twiddle their thumbs. Josh had run into a deli to grab them all some lunch, Shannon took this as the perfect opportunity to talk to Stella. She checked to make sure her comms were off before she began.<p>

"Stel, when did you realize that you are late?"

Stella checked her comms.

"This morning, unopened box of tampons in my cupboard"

"Do you know how many weeks late you are?"

"I dunno, 'bout 6? Maybe 7?"

"Shit, have you got a test?"

"Nup"

"Okay, come to mine after we finish, ill grab one on the way home, and we can get some answers before we jump to any conclusions."

"What about Lawson?"

"I'll tell him that I wanna spend some time with you, we haven't really spoken a whole lot since Michael…"

They spotted Josh heading back to the car

"M'kay, Thanks Shannon" Stella added as Josh climbed back into the car with 3 baguettes.

Shannon let out a quiet sigh, this was the last thing Stella needed, Michael had only passed away about a month ago and Stella took it pretty hard. She'd only just started to open up to people again.

Josh noticed the absence of the usual bubbly atmosphere between the two women, "whats up with you two?" he asked.

"Nothing" Stella smiled when her and Shannon had simultaneous responses.

"Bullshit, Stel, you've been quiet all morning"

"Josh, please, just leave it? Christ, you're turning into Lawson" she added with a laugh.

"Nah, I'm way better looking" Josh said with a chuckle.

Stella scoffed, "Right-O"

* * *

><p><strong>Tell me what you think please :)<strong>

For any of you reading my other story, 'Addressing the Somalian Elephant' (NCIS) I will try and get back to that soon, I promise. I couldn't think of anything to write, because this was occupying my brain. Also, I have had a little bit going on, that wasn't exactly planned.

Sorry for any delays :) I will try my best to be back as soon as possible.


	2. Chapter 2

**New chapter for you guys, told you I'd try and update soon :)**

**Thankyou for all your reviews, favourites and follows. I never thought this story would get that sort of response. I am starting to write the next chapter now, so it should be up soonish. :)**

**I ALWAYS forget this:**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Rush, if I did it would still be on our screens, and Michael would be alive, and Josh would be back and Lawson wouldn't have slept with Tash, and so on :)**

* * *

><p>Both TR vehicles glided into the garage within a minute of each other, Stella driving TR2 and Christian driving TR1. All the team members headed to the change rooms, eager to get out of their uniforms and head home, after a long, boring shift.<p>

Stella and Shannon headed to the showers together and Josh made some joke about them getting it on, neither girl really paid any attention, both deep in thought about what questions would be answered, or in Stella's case, asked, that night.

They showered in silence, Shannon was in the cubicle directly to the right of Stella, but decided it wasn't the best place to ask her anything, in case someone walked in and overheard.

After both girls had showered they walked back out to the locker rooms where Lawson and Josh were, Christian must have already left, or he was off annoying Leon.

"You ready to go, Shan?" Lawson asked.

"Um, if it's okay with you, I asked Stel back to mine tonight, to catch up" Shannon replied.

"Yeah, okay. Josh, wanna grab a beer?"

"Why not" Josh answered with a smile.

"See you at home" Lawson added, kissing Shannon lightly on the cheek. He walked out patting Stella lightly on the shoulder.

"Catch ya later, Shannon"

"Bye Josh" she replied with a smile.

Josh walked up to Stella and wrapped her in a hug, "Cya, mole" he said, gently squeezing her.

"Yeah, bye, scarface" Stella retorted, giving Josh a warm smile.

She loved the relationship she had with Josh, he was like an older brother, and he'd been there for her the whole time since Michael died.

Stella and Shannon gathered their gear and Stella ducked home quickly to drop off the stuff she didn't need while Shannon went to the chemist before going home.

Shannon was only home for about 7 minutes when she heard a knock at the door, knowing instantly who it was she didn't even bother to look through the peephole in her door, as she usually did since the rape.

"Hey, Stel, I thought we could order in, Thai alright?"

Stella nodded and smiled at her best friend, before making herself at home on Shannon's couch.

"Wow, Shan, It's so tidy, you've been spending a lot of time at Lawson's obviously, haven't had the chance to mess it up" Stella said with a cheeky smile.

"Shut up, Stella" Shannon added with a laugh, she came over and sat next to her friend with a small box in her hand.

"You gonna do it now?" her expression turned serious as she passed the box over to her friend.

Stella looked down at it and sighed.

"Probably should get it over with, shouldn't I, rather know for sure?"

Shannon nodded, and Stella reluctantly walked to Shannon's bathroom, she didn't think that she'd ever been this nervous in her whole life. Shannon took this time to order dinner, to take her mind off what her best friend was doing, before returning to the couch and biting her nails anxiously.

She pulled one of the small white sticks out of the packaging, then changed her mind and pulled the other one out too, 'two results were better than one right? Even if it was more awkward to do…'

Stella flushed the toilet, washed her hands, and grabbed the sticks and packaging. She headed out to the couch where Shannon was anxiously waiting for her.

"Did you do it?' Shannon asked, while biting her nail

"Did both" Stella said holding them up, "have to wait two minutes before the results will show up".

Shannon simply nodded, this was going to be a long 2 minutes.

Stella placed them on the table, in the box so neither one would see the results before the other.

The wait was a silent and anxious one.

* * *

><p><strong>Review Please? :)<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**And the next one :) **

**I apologize for not adding page breaks in the last chapter, it slipped my mind.**

**WARNING: This chapter mentions self harm, if you're sensitive to it, I apologize but I deemed it necessary.**

Disclaimer: Wee! I remembered to add one :)

* * *

><p>They waited three minutes just to be one the safe side.<p>

"Come on Stel, there's no sense in waiting, you're gonna know eventually either way" Shannon gently coaxed.

Stella nodded and slowly reached over to the table and grabbed the small box containing the tests.

She took a deep breath and slowly pulled the first one out of the box. Both Shannon and Stella looked at it at the same time.

"It may not be accurate, Stel. Check the other one, yeah?"

Stella nodded, and pulled out the second test.

It displayed the same result.

_Positive_.

Stella let out the breath she was holding and sat back deep into the chair, head in her hands. Only then did she let the first tear fall.

Shannon eased closer to her best friend and wrapped her in an awkward hug because of the position they were in.

* * *

><p>After a few minutes, Stella dropped her hands from her face.<p>

"Stel, what's up?"

Stella shook her head, "I don't know, I feel numb."

Shannon nodded and prepared herself for the next question, "Do you know who the father is?"

Stella stayed silent.

"Stel?"

"It's…" she stopped, a tear slipping down her face.

"Come on, Stel. Please?"

"It's…Michael, Shan. Michael's the father."

"Are you positive?"

Stella nodded, "He's the only guy I've slept with in the last three years…"

"Wait, what? How many times did you guys…you know?"

Tears were streaming down Stella's face, "On and off, it started after Grace died."

"Aw, Stel, I'm sorry, you really loved him didn't you?"

Stella nodded, "and if I told him, he wouldn't have gotten into Raney's car, and he'd still be here, and we could have this kid together…I miss him Shannon, I miss him so much, I've tried to hide it over the last few weeks, didn't want the guys to think I'm weak, but I can't do it anymore, I just can't."

All the grief she had been hiding came out and Shannon couldn't believe she'd hidden all of it, "Why didn't you come to us? The guys would never think you're weak, Stel, we love you, and we'd do anything we could to help. How did you deal with it all without talking to anyone?"

Stella slowly rolled up the sleeves of her shirt, revealing cuts and scars, tears started falling from Shannon's eyes, "Stella, please, don't do that. Come to one of us, or talk to a professional, you don't need to do that."

Tears continued to fall from both women's eyes, "I can't Shan, I don't talk about stuff, I work, to keep my mind off it, I go an talk to Michael, I only do this" she gestured at her arm, "to feel something, _anything_. I've been numb since Michael died, I just want to wake up and this is a horrible dream and Michael's still here.

Shannon wrapped Stella in her arms, neither said a word until knock at the door signalled their dinner had arrived. They sat on the couch to eat it, watching a movie.

* * *

><p>"Stel…you need to talk to Kerry tomorrow, okay. She needs to know."<p>

"Yeah, I know, if she finds out that I'm pregnant again and I knew and didn't tell her, she'll be pissed."

"Wait, again? Stella?"

"Shit." Stella mentally kicked herself, she forgot that no one except Kerry and Michael knew about that.

* * *

><p><strong>Next chapter may be further away, but hopefully soon. It will most likely involve the continuation of the conversation I left it at, and talking to Kerry :)<strong>

**Please, review! I don't like to beg :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Okie dokie, heres the next one :)**

**I was going to include the conversation with Kerry in here too, but, this went longer than I thought.**

**The chapter still isn't overly long, but it is longer than previous ones. I have had some requests to make the lengths longer, and I tried, but I don't want to wreck this by adding random shit that isn't relevant. So I do apologise about the lengths. :)**

**Thankyou for all the reviews, favourites and follows, I really appreciate them :) I never expected this kind of response.**

**The next chapter will be the conversation with Kerry, and hopefully I will get that written and uploaded tomorrow, but I can't guarantee anything, It's my first day off in six days so I will be relaxing a lot :)**

**Thankyou again, for the response this story has received. Reviews always make me smile, no matter how shit my day is :)**  
><strong>Okay, enough of me, I will let you read now.<strong>

**DISCLAIMER: I really want Rush for christmas, and maybe Callan Mulvey wrapped under my tree? Thanks :) **

* * *

><p>"Stella! What do you mean <em>again!<em>_" _Shannon was definitely persistent.

Stella continued to stay silent, this wasn't exactly something she wanted heaps of people to know about, but she knew eventually Shannon would find out.

"Stel?" Shannon prodded...

"Alright, fine. But you can't tell anyone, only Kerry and Michael know…knew."

Shannon noticed the pain in her words as she said the last three words of that sentence, she should have noticed that she wasn't coping, and the long sleeve shirts she always wore, to cover the marks on her arms. She should have been there for her, they all should have been.

Stella sighed, just when Shannon thought that she wasn't going to say anymore.

"You remember when we were chasing that little ratbag that stole TR on your first day as sergeant?"

"Don't remind me" Shannon added with a small chuckle.

"Remember when I collapsed and he caught me?"

"Yep"

"Well, when I went to the hospital they told me I had a miscarriage, that why I had those pains in my stomach that morning. It was Michael's kid. I slept with him soon after and he thought I only wanted him around when I needed a 'root'. That's when I told him, and I told Kerry when she picked me up from the hospital. I told her not to tell anyone from the team."

Shannon was close to tears, she couldn't believe that her best friend had been through that and she had no idea, and wasn't there to comfort her. It brought her back to her previous thought, she'd been so wrapped up in her own little world, she didn't notice the obvious signs that her friend wasn't coping. The hangovers, cuts, and drug use. She should have noticed. She should have helped.

"Stella, I'm sorry."

"What for, it wasn't your fault…" she was cut off by Shannon.

"I'm sorry for the miscarriage, if I'd known why you were having those pains in your stomach then I wouldn't have been such a hard ass, and been there to support you. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when Michael died, wasn't there to help you pick up the pieces, I should have noticed the hangovers and long shirts you were always wearing. I wish I did, I wish I helped you. You're my best friend, but I haven't been acting like much of a friend lately. I'm just so sorry."

"Shannon, none of this is your fault, I chose not to tell people about the miscarriage, and I had no fucking idea what the pains were from. And Michael, well, I know you've had your own shit to deal with. At the end of the day it was my choice to get smashed all the time and take drugs. And the cutting was no ones fault, its how I dealt with it. And fucking Charlie, he kept riding my ass the whole time, making sure I didn't slip up, I just didn't know how to help myself, that was the only way I could deal with it all. I just want all this shit to go away, and have Michael back, I miss him so fucking much and I just wish…wish that I'd told him how I felt instead of playing stupid games with him. I knew he wanted more, I just couldn't, I couldn't be hurt anymore. And I didn't want to hurt him. If I did tell him that I loved him then he wouldn't have got into Raney's fucking car and he'd still be alive."

Tears were streaming down Stella's face and the tears were just starting to spill over with Shannon. Stella was always the strong one, the one that sucked it up and got on with it, no matter how far up shit creek things were. It was upsetting to see her like this.

"Stella, I'm sorry. But you know you can come to me whenever you need right? I know I've been preoccupied lately, but if you need to talk, I'll be here." Shannon said with a smile, "But I think tomorrow you need to see Kerry and tell her about this, she needs to know. And I don't know whether you're ready but Charlie and Lawson need to know too, so they can sort out what you're going to be doing in the field."

Stella nodded, "Thanks Shannon."

Shannon started to grab her things, "I should probably go, Lawson will be wondering where I am. I can pick you up in the morning, if you like? And we can talk to Kerry together?"

Stella smiled warmly at her friend, relieved that she'd let some of it out, "Thanks Shannon, I owe you one."


	5. Chapter 5

**Okay, I know I said the conversation with Kerry would come next, but I wanted to write Shannon going home to Lawson after she spoke with Stella, I just didn't want to make the previous chapter too long. And I didn't know if I wanted it _before _or _after_ they spoke to Kerry.**

**A review I got last night asked if I could add another Lawson/Shannon conversation, and it helped me make up my mind to put it before. It's pretty short, It's kind of just a filler. The next chapter shouldn't be too far off. I hope this is okay. Thanks to both readers who reviewed the last chapter! I'm not sure whether it was any good, so if you guys could review it would be great, to let me know how I am going :)**

**Thankyou to kirst92 for the review you left asking for the Lawson/Shannon moment. You helped me make up my mind with where to put this conversation in the story. I hope it does justice. :)**

**Happy reading!**

**Disclaimer: Still no sign of Rush or Callan Mulvey under my tree, but maybe it will come closer to christmas? :)**

* * *

><p>Stella left Shannon's heading for home while Shannon headed to Lawson's for the night, she was considering just staying at hers for the night, but Lawson's was closer to Stella's so she wouldn't have to drive as far in the morning. When she arrived at Lawson's she was expecting to find him drunk or at least tipsy, but he wasn't. It seemed that he'd had just enough without becoming influenced.<p>

She walked through the door and was met with a gentle kiss.

"How was your night with Stel?" he asked.

"Good, we talked about a fair bit, watched a movie and got Thai." She said with a smile.

"That's good, you guys really haven't spoken a heap since Michael died, it would have been good for you guys to catch up, especially since she seems to be more open to everyone now."

Shannon stayed silent, she knew this wasn't the case but she didn't want to risk Stella being annoyed at her for talking to Lawson about anything.

"Shan? What's up? Are you okay?"

Shannon nodded.

"Is Stella okay?"

Shannon bit her lip and briefly shook her head, her eyes were glassy and tears threatened to spill over.

"Shan, Shan. Just come sit down, yeah? Tell me about Stel."

Shannon placed her head in her hands,

"She asked me not to tell anyone"

"Shannon, look it's obviously affecting you, and it's affecting her, as her senior officer and _friend_, I need to know. I won't tell anyone, or let on that I know anything, but you need to talk about it."

"It's Stella, she isn't coping, with anything. She hasn't spoken to anyone, just hidden everything, she didn't want to seem weak. She's been abusing alcohol and drugs also, and she started cutting herself to deal with it. Charlie has been riding her ass to stop her from slipping up, and she just can't do it anymore. She told me she's been numb since Michael died, and she wants to feel something, so she cuts. She needs help, Lawson. And I don't know what to do."

Lawson wrapped his arms around Shannon, "there isn't a lot you can do, until she asks for help. Just be there for her, to support her, and be a shoulder to cry on."

"That's the thing, I _haven__'__t_been there for her, I've been wrapped up in my own little world, and I didn't notice the signs that something was wrong with her."

"Neither have I, Shannon. I'm her superior, it's _my_ job to notice that, and I didn't. I failed her, again. But now, we just have to be there to help her, put it all back together. Okay? Lets get some sleep, we have to work tomorrow."

Shannon nodded, "I am picking Stella up, she wants to talk to Kerry about something, and I offered to be there."

Lawson kissed Shannon gently and they climbed into bed, Lawson lay awake thinking for a while.

'How did I not notice Stel was going through all this shit. Michael was her best friend, and losing him messed her up bad. I knew it would but I still did nothing to help. I was so concerned about Shannon being so distant that I didn't notice that my friend wasn't coping. I should have noticed the signs, and been there to help. But I wasn't. Now we have to help her fix it.'

* * *

><p><strong>Review, Please? :) I'd really like to have some feedback on this chapter and the last, because I am not sure that they are very good. :**


	6. Chapter 6

**Here's the next one :)**

**I have an idea of what is going to come next and the chapter after, but I'm not sure when I'll be able to write it..**

**Please Review :) Thanks**

**Disclaimer: I wish I didn't have to disclaim anything. I wish it was mine.. :) **

* * *

><p>Shannon walked up to Stella's door, getting ready to knock, when it opened and the young senior constable walked out bag in hand. She smiled at Shannon before they walked to the car and engaged in casual conversation on the way to base.<p>

When they arrived, Josh and Lawson were already there, Charlie was in talking to Leon about something and Christian was no where to be seen. As the girls were putting their bags away they heard Lawson's phone ring.

"Hello?"

"Okay, that's alright, mate. Thanks for calling in."

"Bye"

Lawson hung up, "Christians sick, so are his kids, can't come in today. Shannon, you'll be riding with me and Charlie. Stel, you'll be with josh."

All team members nodded and Josh and Lawson sat on the floating bench, talking and punching each other in the arm playfully. Shannon turned to Stella.

"Come on, Stel, get it over with, before we head out."

Stella reluctantly nodded and walked out with Shannon headed towards Kerry's office. Josh shot a questioning look at Lawson, who simply answered it with a shrug.

Stella knocked on Kerry's open door, after a brief second, they heard "come in" and entered.

"Stella, Shannon. How's it going?" Kerry asked, briefly looking up from her paperwork.

Stella spoke up.

"Uhm, Kerry, I need to talk to you about…something."

Kerry's head shot up, worry crossed her features.

"Why? What's up, Stella?"

"Um…well. I think you should know. I'm, ah…pregnant."

"Shit, you sure?"

"Positive"

Noticing the blank expression on Stella face she asked, "Do you want this, Stella?"

"I don't know to be honest, Kerry. I just don't know."

Shannon and Kerry could both see her façade threatening to crack, unveiling her grief, which she'd hidden so well from everyone.

"Do you know who the father is?"

Kerry didn't want to ask, but knew she had to.

"Michael" Stella said quietly, her head bowed so they couldn't see her face.

Kerry shot Shannon and unsure glance that she'd heard right, Shannon answered with a slight nod.

"Shit, Stella. I'm sorry. If you need to take some time, then you can, and we'll all be here for you if you need to talk to us."

"I need to work, take my mind off all this shit. Thanks, Kerry" Stella gave the older woman a small sad smile.

"Do you know how far along?"

"Nup, my guess is about 2 months, but I can't be sure."

"Okay, well, the door is always open, Stella. Okay, make sure you remember that."

Stella smiled gratefully, and both women turned to leave.

"Ah, Shannon, just stay here a sec would ya? Just need to clarify something with your last incident report." Shannon offered Stella a small smile as she walked back out to the lockers to get changed. Shannon sat on one of the chairs in Kerry's office.

"How's she been coping, Shannon?" Kerry asked, making it obvious this wasn't about the incident report. She leaned over and shut the door.

"I was with her last night. She asked me not to tell anyone, but I think you need to know. She isn't doing well at all, she's been trying to keep it in. she was scared she'd seem weak. I saw last night what I never thought id see from her. She's ruining her life, Kerry. She needs help, she's been hitting the bottle pretty hard and she's cutting herself. She hid it so well, I didn't see any of it until last night. She was crying in my arms and there wasn't anything I could do to help her. She only found out she was pregnant last night, she called me yesterday morning, saying she was _late_and I offered for her to come to mine. When she saw the results, she just fell apart."

"Shit, how did we miss it? It was right under our noses the whole time. I could have helped her. I _should_have helped her."

"We all could have, Kerry. But it's too late for that now, we can only help her from now on. You can't tell her I told you this, she asked me not to say and she'll be pissed if she finds out. The good thing about her telling me is now I can help her more. She loved Michael, and she blames herself, thinks that if she told him, he wouldn't have got into Raney's car."

"And he'd still be here" Kerry finished. "It's not her fault, she can't blame herself."

"I know, but she does. Also, Charlies been riding her ass a bit, make sure she doesn't slip up and it contributed to the cutting, so maybe you could ask him to tone it down or something?"

"I'll do my best, thanks, Shannon. I meant what I said, the door is always open."

Shannon smiled gratefully and walked out into the locker room, ready to head out with the others.


	7. Chapter 7

**Okay, I have the new chapter for you guys. :) I was going to post this yesterday, when I wrote it, but our Wi-Fi crapped itself. So I couldn't. **

**I have made this chapter longer, I don't know how, it just happened, but I can't guarantee that the next ones will be the same length. This chapter is about Stella and Josh, and reflects their relationship.**

**Anyways, enough of me, I'll let you read, and review! :)**

**Thankyou again, to all my wonderful readers, and those who review, follow and favourite.**

**A special thankyou goes to NCIS Fan28, she didn't watch Rush, before channel 10 so rudely pulled it from our screens, but she has been nice enough to read this fic, and offer me some advice and help where i needed it. If any of you are NCIS fans, I suggest you check out some of her fics, they're great :)**

* * *

><p>Shannon walked into the locker room to find Josh and Stella playing around. He had her in a playful headlock and she was punching him in the arm trying to break free. Lawson watched on, amused. Shannon smiled at the playful struggle going on between the two. Lawson let Shannon have a few minutes to organize herself before he got the team into action with a simple, "alright, let's go."<p>

Stella and Josh headed over to TR2, with Stella trying to steal the keys from Josh who had grabbed them when she was speaking to Kerry. He held them playfully above his head, which was out of Stella's reach, she tried to jump to grab them but he simply ducked out the way and ran to the other side of the garage. Stella smiled at him.

"Alright, you've had your fun scarface, now give 'em back."

Josh laughed, and then saw Charlie coming out of the offices ready to get into TR1 with Lawson and Shannon.

"Alright, ya mole. Let's hit the road."

Stella went to grab the keys from Josh with a smile and punched him again, which prompted him to chase her to the car and try and tackle her. Fortunately for Stella, she reached the driver's door of TR2 just in time to get away from the Senior Sergeant.

Lawson and Shannon were giggling at the antics of their colleagues when Charlie entered the car, settling himself in the back seat, waiting for Shannon to drive off into the busy streets of Melbourne.

Once Stella and Josh had calmed down after their play fight, Stella followed TR1 out of the garage, heading in a slightly different direction.

By the time it was 1pm, TR2 had attended a domestic dispute and a public nuisance call, TR1 wasn't having the same luck, with a relatively slow day for them. Josh and Stella sat in TR2 munching happily on their pies from a bakery in Seddon.

Stella wasn't surprised when Josh started asking her certain questions, he was like her brother, and naturally, he was concerned. He knew about the fractured relationship between Frank and Stella Dagostino, but had no idea why. So he was the one that supported her when she needed it.

"Hey, Stel?"

"Hmm" she mumbled in reply through her steak and curry pie.

"Is everything okay, with you? You've been kinda, quiet. Lately."

Stella knew this was going to be coming soon. Josh cared about her, and he deserved the truth.

"To be honest, Josh. No. I'm not fine, I'm sick of all the shit that has happened recently. My life is like a fucking rollercoaster that I can't get control of."

Josh was shocked. Stella never spoke this openly with anyone about herself and her feelings. He was expecting her to brush him off, say she was 'fine' and get on with it. He was glad that she was opening up to him, but worried about what was affecting her so badly to change a big portion of what made her, her. She continued, timidly.

"Josh. I want to thank you for being there for me, since Michael…" she grabbed his hand and squeezed it giving him a small grateful smile before continuing.

"I miss him Josh, he was my _best_friend, and I didn't think I could ever imagine my life without him, but now I'm living that life, and I've never felt so alone. He meant everything to me, and I've lost it. And I'm scared that I'll lose you and Shannon too. I don't think I could live with that." She stated with a silent tear cascading down her cheek. She angrily brushed it away and looked at Josh. His eyes were filled with sorrow, and regret. He pulled her closer and gave her a gentle comforting hug, then looked into her eyes.

"I'm not going anywhere, chubby. I can promise you that."

Stella looked at him smiling at her affectionate nickname, and remembering the time her partner at Preston mistook this affection for them being arseholes. She laughed, it was a half-hearted laugh, but for now, that was a big step.

"You've talked to Shannon, then?" he asked, she nodded.

"That's good, Stel. You need to talk. I know that's not in your nature, but dealing with something like this will change you. I felt the same way after Grace died, scared, alone. But you're not. Michael will always be with you in your heart, Stel."

Stella nodded, but he could still see the hurt in her eyes.

"You loved him, didn't you?" he asked.

A slight nod from Stella, confirmed what he'd thought for years now, and slowly the tears began to fall again. This time Josh didn't say anything, just held her, until she calmed down.

"Is this what you spoke to Kerry about, this morning?"

Stella shook her head gently, "not exactly."

"What does that mean?"

"Josh, you have to promise not to tell anyone, only Shannon and Kerry know, okay? You _have _to keep it to yourself."

Josh nodded, 'what could cause her to be like this?' he thought.

"I'm pregnant."

Josh let the words sink in before he continued,

"Michael?"

Stella nodded, with a small, sad smile.

"I always thought you two would get it on, just didn't know when." He said with a smile, making Stella laugh…he had lifted her mood a little, by not getting all serious and asking questions. She loved Josh because he could joke about anything to lighten the mood and make her laugh.

"Not just once, it's been on and off, for the last 3 years or so." She said with a smile, recalling the time she had sex with Michael in the shower at TR. And when he got drunk and nearly let it slip to the whole team.

"Shit, I'm surprised Muppet could keep that to himself, he was always one to kiss and tell."

They laughed and joked for about 15 minutes about all the times Michael had told them inappropriate things about his love life.

When it was time for Stella and Josh to return to patrolling the area, Stella turned to the Senior Sergeant and granted him her classic, Stella smile.

"Thanks, Josh. For everything."

He nodded, and she pulled out into the streets of Seddon.

* * *

><p><strong>And?<strong>


	8. Chapter 8

**Not much to say with this one, other than... This chapter deals more with the emotions bottling up inside Stella. It's very Stella/Kerry orientated. The end is Stella/Leon, cause he gets forgotten about sometimes. **

**I hope you enjoy, please review and tell me what you think.**

**Also, I wrote a Rush oneshot, called 'Wounded Souls'. I'm not sure what it is exactly, it just came to me. So I'd love some feedback on that, to let me know what you guys thought :)**

**Thankyou all, for your ongoing support, and reviews. I love them all! **

* * *

><p>Stella sat in the locker room, alone. Silent tears made their way down her olive cheeks as another wave of intense grief washed over her. And confusion taunted her.<p>

She didn't know whether she was ready for a child in her life. She thought of all the times she got shitfaced and snorted cocaine, especially with that _bitch_ Cleo. And the whole time, she'd been pregnant. What if she fucked up the baby's chances before it was even born? Josh and Shannon had sat with her the previous night. She had sobbed in Josh's arms while he stroked her back and Shannon stroked her head. They had helped her, but neither had children, she knew they wouldn't tell her what she should do. That was _her_ decision. She knew exactly who she could talk to.

She heard the familiar clacking of heels come down the hallway and enter the locker room. She was sitting on the floating bench facing away from the door, but she knew exactly who it was that was standing in the doorway looking at her small, broken figure. She put her head in her hands as Kerry walked around so she was facing Stella and knelt down next to her.

Sure, Kerry was the first to admit that Stella had pissed her off in the past, with her illegal street racing, and consistent partying and hangovers, but Stella was one of the best junior officers she had ever worked with, and she cared about her. That's why it pained her so much to see her like this, falling apart and trying to hide it by burying her red, tearstained face in her hands.

"Stella. Come down to my office for a sec, yeah?"

A strangled sob escaped the young senior constable's lips and she broke down again.

"Oh Stella"

Kerry began rubbing her back. She waited for the young woman before her to calm down a bit again, before she gently helped her to her office. She sat her in a chair and walked out to talk to Josh and Christian, who were waiting to go out in TR2 with her.

"Josh. Christian" she waggled her finger, motioning for them to come over to her, "Take TR2 out, Stella's going to stay here for a bit, pick her up on your lunch break, yeah?"

Josh nodded, "Christian, go start the car."

He tossed him the keys and walked into Kerry's office. Stella stood and buried her face in Josh's chest, he placed a strong, comforting hand behind her head, talking to her in hushed tones, trying to calm her down. She was so broken, he'd never seen her like this. She pulled away gently, "talk to Kerry, we'll pick you up at lunch."

He murmured and pulled her in for another brief hug, "You'll get through it, Stel. It gets easier."

She nodded again and sat down in the chair, waiting for Kerry, who was checking something with Leon while Josh comforted Stella.

Josh got into the passenger side of TR2, he noticed the wet patch on Josh's dark blue shirt, before he zipped his vest over the stain.

"Stella okay?" He asked, his voice filled with compassion.

Josh nodded, "she will be, needs time. Let's go." Christian looked solemn, and the pair silently drove out of the TR base.

Stella sat in Kerry's office, Kerry was at her desk, silently working, waiting for Stella to talk in her own time.

"Kerry, you were young when you had James right?"

Kerry nodded, "too young. I was younger than you are."

Stella looked at her, eyes full of confusion, "How young is too young?"

Kerry let out a small sigh and went to sit on the front edge of her desk, she looked into the frightened eyes of her officer, "that's for you to decide, Stella. You have to decide whether you're ready for the responsibility of a kid in your life, and whether you are prepared to stop a lot of what you do now to support a child."

Stella placed her head in her hands again before wiping her hands down her face, "I don't _know_ if I'm ready. I always thought I'd be raising kids _with_ someone, not _without_ them. I don't know if I can do it."

Kerry stared into the scared eyes of the senior constable before her, "You are not alone, Stella. We are all going to be here for you and support you, no matter what the decision is that you come to."

Stella nodded and a silent tear made its way down her cheek. The pregnancy hormones were getting the better of her already. "What if I have wrecked everything?" her voice small, "all I did with Cleo is get shitfaced and snort Cocaine, and that really hasn't stopped completely."

Kerry sighed, "You can't change what's done. I think you should see a doctor and get some advice. That might help you make up your mind."

Stella nodded, she knew she'd have to go to the doctor sooner or later, she was just regretting it, until she made up her mind.

"You're going to have to let Charlie and Lawson know, Stella. Do you want me to tell them?"

Stella shook her head, "I'll do it, it would be better coming from me."

Kerry nodded, "Okay, if you need _anything_ just ask, okay? We are all going to support you through this." Stella nodded and smiled, although the smile didn't reach her eyes, the sparkle was missing, and Kerry could tell she was filled with worry, guilt and grief.

Stella was going to be helping Leon until the boys picked her up at lunch, she walked over to his desk and started spinning on a swivel chair. He placed a hand on her shoulder, "You okay, Stel?"

She nodded, "yeah, fine. Just had to have a quick chat with Kerry about something."

Leon looked unsure, he knew something was up, yet he didn't push. He'd seen what Michael's death had done to her, despite her best efforts to keep it hidden from everyone except maybe Shannon and Josh. He showed her his latest project of get a picture of a show horse with a bright rug on and changing it to have Charlie's face.

Stella laughed. A happy, rare laugh these days. It was truly genuine. "He would _kill_you if he saw that Leon." She said still smiling, her expression turned cheeky before she added, "Although, he can be a bit of a show pony."

The pair laughed, "my thoughts exactly." Stella smiled, "he's not all bad though. He's a hard ass, but so is Lawson, and he is better than when he first came here, he doesn't display any of that macho bullshit anymore." Leon nodded, "true, although him and Lawson always seem to be having a dick measuring competition" he added with a chuckle. The pair laughed and joked until lunch came around and Stella had to put her uniform on. It felt really good to joke around with Leon, she felt as if a small weight had been lifted off her shoulders. It was a small step in her road to recovery.

* * *

><p><strong>Check out my one shot :)<br>http:/ www. fanfiction .net/s/7754347/1/Wounded_Souls **

**just take out the spaces or access it from my profile :) Thankyou in advance!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Next Chapter for you guys :)**

**I know it's kinda crappy, especially the ending, but hey, I'm tired. It's the best I could do. And I DID think this chapter would be harder to write than it was, so I'm doing okay I guess.**

**Please Review, tell me what you think!**

* * *

><p>Lunch time rolled around and Stella knew she'd have to talk to Charlie and Lawson, as much as she didn't want to. But that would have to wait until after shift, considering she was riding with Josh and Christian.<p>

Josh walked into base, he found Stella sitting with Leon and gently squeezed her shoulder, "you ready to do some _real_ work, slacker?" he asked, she laughed and held her hand out for him to pull her up. Leon looked up at Josh, "_real_ work? Josh, Really? Without me, you guys would be stuffed!" Josh bent over and pulled Leon's ear before he walked out with Stella to the cars.

"You okay, Stel?" He asked her on the way, knowing what she had been speaking to Kerry about.

"Yeah, thanks, Scarface. I'll be fine." She punched him in the arm, and opened the door to TR2. She greeted Christian and the three of them pulled out to go and get some lunch.

The time was nearing the end of shift. As Christian drove back to base he started chatting about another of his dreams, despite the fact that neither cared. It wasn't long before Josh told him to shut up. He looked to Stella and noticed her staring aimlessly out the window in the back.

"You okay, Stel? You've been quiet all day…Stella?"

She snapped out of her daze, "Huh? Oh yeah, I'm fine, just thinking." Both boys nodded, although one suspected and one knew something was up.

TR2 arrived back at base half an hour before TR1 who were coming back from a job out of town a bit. After unpacking the car and doing inventory, Christian headed home to his family. Josh and Stella remained, sitting in with Leon, messing around. Stella escaped to the bathrooms when a scrunched up piece of paper, thrown by Leon, made contact with Kerry's head, followed by an unimpressed glare.

Lawson, Charlie and Shannon pulled up in the garage and started their inventory. Josh knew that Stella needed to talk to the two senior sergeants and probably wanted to do so without the presence of her other colleagues. He offered to help Shannon with inventory, allowing Stella to get Charlie and Lawson alone.

They headed into the upstairs office, rarely used by anyone at TR and Stella sat down at the table in the room, Charlie and Lawson followed suit. Both unsure of what the young senior constable wanted to tell them.

"Everything alright, Stel?" Lawson asked, the first to question the reason for their 'talk'.

Stella nodded, "sort of, I spoke to Kerry this morning, and we both agreed I needed to speak to you."

Lawson and Charlie were beginning to worry, Stella continued.

"I'm pregnant."

Lawson's eyebrows rose momentarily. She had always been upfront and honest. Its one thing he liked about working with her, apart from her brushes with the law, she was a good cop. And he'd back her up, no questions asked.

Both men remained silent, this time it was Stella's eyebrows that rose, a smirk plastered over her face, one like the one she wore when she was teasing them. One they hadn't really seen since Michael died.

"You gonna say anything?" she said with a hint of laughter in her voice.

Charlie broke the silence, "How long have you known?"

"Couple of days. I needed to get my head around it before I came to you guys."

Lawson nodded and his face broke into a smile as he got up, "Congratulations." He hugged her gently, it wasn't something the two usually shared.

"I wish it were that simple." She said, raising concern in both men, "The baby's Michael's."

Charlie was the first to speak this time, "Is this something you want, Stella?"

She shook her head, "I don't know. I have spoken to Kerry, and I know my options. I just have to make the right decision."

Lawson nodded, they hadn't always gotten along that well, but he knew this wasn't easy for her, and he'd support whatever she chose to do.

They sat for a while longer, before deciding they should probably go and help with the cars. If they weren't already done. Stella stood, and as she did so, Charlie patted her gently on the shoulder, it was a simple gesture, but one that ensured Stella knew he was there for her. And he wasn't going to be a prick.

As the three descended the stairs they noticed that the cars were in fact unpacked and inventory completed. Josh and Shannon were sitting in the locker room, talking quietly, waiting for their colleagues to emerge. Charlie headed straight down to the offices, yelling a "goodbye guys" over his shoulder. Stella and Lawson went to get their things.

Lawson wrapped his arm around Shannon's waist and they said their goodbyes to the remaining members of TR. Josh turned to Stella, "everything okay?" Stella nodded.

"Yeah, everything's sweet. Thanks Josh. For being there."

He hugged her gently and they walked out to their cars together, said their goodbyes and left.

* * *

><p><strong>I know, crappy right?<strong>

**Check out my Rush one shot. It's Stella/Michael. But not about Michael's death. I haven't had any feedback from it and I'd love to know what you think.**  
><strong>Yes I am shamefully self advertising. :**

** Alsoooo, what do you guys think Stella should do about the baby? I'd love some feedback on that too!**


	10. Chapter 10

**So, I'm back! Sorry about the delay, I didn't know what direction I wanted this to go in, but I think I finally wrote something I am happy with, I Just hope you guys are! :)**

* * *

><p>"Stella Dagostino"<p>

Stella looked up from the pathetic, trashy magazine she was reading and walked over to the doctor that called her name. She followed the young blond woman into the room and sat down, waiting to begin.

"So, Miss Dagostino-"

"Stella"

"Stella" she smiled, "you made this appointment because you found out recently that you are pregnant?'

"Yep" Stella replied, popping the 'P'. She slouched slightly in her chair, one hand resting against her forehead, a small smirk playing at her lips.

"Okay, well you obviously have some concerns, so how about we talk about those?" the woman had obviously done some sort of course in Psychology. It was no wonder that Kerry had suggested this OB/GYN.

"I need you to tell me the risks involving having a baby that was exposed to cocaine and alcohol during early development." Stella stated matter-of-factly, she was always to the point, so there was no reason she should be different now.

The doctor's eyebrows rose momentarily, "Your files say you are a cop? In a tactical squad? I think we need to talk about that as well."

Stella just nodded; she didn't particularly like this woman.

"We'll start with the problems around the cocaine and alcohol. There is an elevated chance that the child could have a mental or physical disability. Or the baby could suffer a stroke before birth, which could ultimately end up as a stillbirth. Babies being born preterm are also common in a situation like this."

Stella sat, absorbing the information that this woman was throwing at her.

"There is also an increased chance of miscarriage. Your file states that you have had one previously? And you miscarried at work, during a high stress situation."

"I wouldn't call it high stress, there was a kid, we chased him, I collapsed. That's it. I'd been feeling off all morning, so there's no way to determine that it was my job that contributed to it." Stella retorted, getting sick of this woman's bedside manner.

"Yes, well I don't think it would have helped. Do you know the father?"

"A cop, from my unit. Killed in the line of duty." Stella said, looking solemn.

The doctor's face formed a small 'o' shape before she was back down to business.

"And you intend to keep your job at… 'Tactical Response'?"

"Yeah, I worked hard to get there, and I have friends that will help me through this, whatever I decide."

"Okay well that's good to hear, but I think you should be on light duties by your 2nd trimester, you can still be in the field, but maybe you should just drive and do the low risk stuff…and I think you should be working on base after 4 months, if you decide to keep this baby."

Stella nodded, she didn't like those conditions but that was something she would take up with Lawson and Kerry.

"The ultrasound we did earlier determined that you are 6 and a half weeks pregnant, so I'll leave it up to you to talk to your friends and family and then give me a ring when you're ready to make your next appointment. I'd like to see you by the time you are 15 weeks, if possible."

Stella nodded and thanked the doctor before walking out of the surgery and heading home.

Shannon knocked on the door of Stella's Fitzroy apartment, she heard shuffling and the door opened.

Stella smiled, Shannon looked worried, "Stella you look like shit."

"Gee thanks Shannon, that what I always love hearing!" Stella replied in her sarcastic-smart ass tone. Before a huge grin spread on her face.

Shannon smiled, and headed over to Stella's couch, followed by the younger brunette.

"How did the doctors go, Stel?"

The younger woman hesitated slightly before replying, "Ah, not too bad, we went through the risks, due to my…problems."

Shannon knew what she meant – the problems that may be caused by the cocaine use, and alcohol abuse. Shannon sat, patiently waiting for her friend to continue.

"There is a higher chance of mental disability, and physical disability. The baby may have a stroke before the birth and could die and be stillborn, or it can be born preterm. But there is also a chance the baby could be fine, there has been tests in the pasts where exposed babies are perfectly normal compared to those that aren't."

Shannon nodded, taking in the information her friend had provided, "You just have to make the right choice for you, and whatever you decide, we'll be there for you."

Worry still graced the young constable's features, "The doctor said that there will be an increased chance of miscarriage. Shan, I can't go through that again.

Shannon nodded, "I know Stel, but at the end of the day you are the only one who can make the right decision." she smiled softly and squeezed Stella's hand. "Was the doctor nice?"

Stella scoffed, "No! She was a bitch! Last time I take Kerry's advice on doctors, next time I'll find a nicer one, that doesn't judge me." Stella said, a small smile gracing her features.

"She was judging you?" Shannon said with a small laugh.

"Yeah! You should have heard her, I asked about any complications due to the drugs and she was like 'Your files say you're a cop? In a Tactical squad?'" Stella placed her hands on her hips and she imitated the doctor in a bittersweet voice, similar to the one she used to imitate the lawyer who was trying to hit on _'Constable Sandrelli'_ when they were protecting a gangland criminal. The girls exploded into a fit of giggles at Stella's imitation.

Stella walked into the TR Base exactly 1 hour before she was due to start shift, she had made her decision, she just needed to tell Kerry, and then the team.

A small knock made Kerry look up from her paperwork. "Stella, how's it going? Come in."

The young constable sat in the chair opposite Kerry's desk, sighing, she began, "That doctor you recommended, she's a bitch, Kerry!" Kerry looked up and smiled at the young constable, "Yeah, buts she's to the point, Stella. That's what you needed to help you make your choice."

Stella let out a light laugh "That's the last time I ever take advice from you then!" She smiled before continuing "I think I have made my decision though, but I wanted to discuss with you before I told the team…"

* * *

><p><strong>So what do we all think? Let me know in a review.<br>**

**Thankyou to NCIS Fan 28 for reading through this after I finished it :)**

**I wrote another Rush one shot, called 'Exit Wounds'. its on my profile so go have a look! there are other Rush oneshots there too, "wounded souls' and 'guilt' so have a look at them too, if you like :)**

**There is also now a poll on my profile, about the Rush couples, so vote on that as well if you have the time! :) I promise I will try and update sooner than I have in the past!**


	11. Chapter 11

**The time between this update and last has been better than in the past, yes? Read and Review please, are people still reading this story? :)  
>Somewhat important AN at end...**

* * *

><p>Stella had decided to tell the team her decision after their shift. Christian was the only one on the team that wasn't aware of the fact that she was pregnant, she didn't want to hurt his feelings by him finding out that he was the only one that didn't know. She was with Josh and him in TR2 so she was going to break the news to him sometime during the day.<p>

Leon hadn't been told either, but he found out when he barged into Kerry's office that morning, while they were discussing Stella's options.

Stella hadn't had the chance to talk to the boys much all morning, they had been at a domestic involving drugs, so they had to spend the morning fucking around waiting for the drug squad to get their shit together. Then they were called to an armed rob at 'The Joint' in Elizabeth Street. Two guys had gone in with a knife and handgun of some sort and attempted to get some cash. When the bartender refused they had reportedly gotten violent and ransacked the place, glassing a young woman in the process.

The call was put out to all available units, but having a tactical component was essential. Lawson and Shannon arrived before TR2 and began assigning jobs to the uniforms, such as securing the area and setting up a cordon.

TR2 arrived shortly after, Lawson was talking to some uniforms about the situation and making it clear that everything was to be run past him before acted upon.

Josh called Shannon over to where he, Christian and Stella were standing, "alright, we're gonna have to do a reccy, and get some cameras up where we can, we have limited information about these guys so just watch your back, right."

All members nodded and Stella opened the rear of TR2, "I'll get the cameras and come with you-"

Josh cut her off, walking slightly closer, "Stel, these guys glassed a woman, I'm not comfortable having you closer than you need to be. Not right now, you're not the only one to consider anymore."

Stella began to argue back, "Josh, I'm not disabled, I can do a reccy, and we need Shannon here, she's the only negotiator available apart from Lawson, and he seems a bit busy right now." Stella folded her arms, eyebrows slightly raised. Shannon watched on, showing little emotion about the spar between her friends, she knew Stella wouldn't take kindly to special treatment. Christian was just confused, he wasn't aware of any problems with Stella currently apart from losing Michael, but that wouldn't make Josh stop her from doing a simple reccy.

Josh's tone softened slightly, "Stel, I know this is difficult for you but it's happening alright. Lawson will be back in a sec and until then you have negotiation experience, but we won't contact them yet, the only way that you'll have to negotiate is if they try and call out."

Stella was pissed but complied, handing the cameras to Shannon who gave her a compassionate look and walked off after Josh and Christian. Stella got the laptop out, ready to bring up the camera feeds once they were in place.

As they were walking towards the pub, Christian looked at Josh, "why couldn't Stel do the reccy? Shannon's a chick and she's here, so it obviously isn't the fact that she's a female. Is she okay?"

"You'll have to ask her, Christian. For now, focus on what you're meant to be doing."

Josh, Shannon and Christian were back after 10 minutes and joined Stella and Lawson who were looking at the video feeds on the laptop. Lawson looked at Shannon as she approached, "right Shan, you're going primary. Stel I want you covering from the GD cars, with them, I need someone I can trust there. Josh, get the rifle and head up to a higher level of the building behind us, I need you covering everyone on the ground in case they come out, and Christian, bean bag shotty, but make sure you're service weapon is easily accessible, yeah?" The team nodded, before making their way to their positions.

Five hours later and the situation was resolved, Shannon had negotiated to get medical assistance for the woman that was glassed and then eventually talked them out. They were arrested and handed over to the GD's to be dealt with.

"You did well Shannon" Lawson said with a smile as he was packing up some of the gear.

"Thanks" Shannon said with a smile.

Stella and Christian were collecting the cameras from around the building, "Hey, Stella?" Christian asked.

"Yo?" Stella said as a smirk covered her face.

"How come Josh wouldn't let you near the pub this morning? Everything's alright isn't it?"

"Everything's sweet, Christian." Stella said with a smile. "Josh is just being protective of me because he knows something you don't." teasing was a good option right now, her relationship wasn't great with Christian so she wanted to make it as light hearted as possible, before she told him the serious stuff.

Christian looked worried, Stella let out a little laugh, "Christian! I'm pregnant. Josh is being over protective. I'm fine, honestly. But thanks for asking." She said, as a genuine smile spread over both of their faces.

"Congratulations!" Christian wrapped her in a hug, much like the one they'd shared when they first met, he was the most openly emotional, _straight_ guy she had met.

"It's not that simple…Michaels the father." He had to know, and now he did.

His smile faded somewhat, "are you okay?"

"I will be, now come on before Lawson kicks our asses for taking so long."

After their shift the team sat in the TR kitchen with a slab of beer. Each taking one except for Stella, who drank a coke, "This tastes shit without any JD!" she whinged, with a little laugh. The team smiled, Josh placed his hand on her shoulder, "You made a decision yet, you moll?"

Stella punched him, "Good on ya, fairy!"

He smiled but waited for her to continue.

"But yeah, I have…"

Drinks stopped moving and eyebrows rose momentarily in anticipation, before Stella continued, "I'm gonna keep it. I don't think I could do the whole adoption thing."

Smiles covered her friends faces and congratulations were spread throughout the TR base, Shannon hugged her tightly, "I think Michael would love to see this, you made the right choice, Stel."

Josh followed after, "I'm proud of you tubby, and if you ever need help, you just ask, alright? None of this independent bullshit you throw around. And I hear Kerry is a good babysitter" he said with a wink and pressed a light kiss to her cheek.

"Thanks, Scarface, and I'm sure you'll be able to help with nappy changes?" she replied with a cocky smirk and punch to the arm.

Josh smiled and wrapped his arms around her again. She had made the right choice, and Michael would be so proud.

_The End._

* * *

><p><strong>I apologize if the ending seemed to come suddenly, I honestly didn't know that it was going to end until I wrote it and it seemed like a good place to leave it. I hope you guys think it is alright :) sorry about the lack of the detail into the negotiation regarding the armed robbery, but I don't feel as though I would have been able to write it, as I don't have any experience with psychology, or negotiation. But that may change in the future hopefully, if i get into one of my possible career choices. :)<strong>

**Do you guys think Stella made the right choice? I wrote what felt natural to me, but at the end of the day it comes down to the reviewers, and readers :)  
>I told myself that after I finished this story I would stick to one shots, but due to the sudden end of this, I have considered writing a sequel (one shot or multi chap, whatever works best) set in the future. But I don't want to write it if no one will read it, so let me know in PM or review? :)<strong>

**Also, if any of you have any Rush one shot ideas, or even NCIS one shot ideas, then PM me, and I'll try to write them for you :) I have had a relatively long hiatus from writing whilst I got a few things sorted and wouldn't mind some things to keep me busy...I will write any pairing, except slash, as I don't feel comfortable with it. I am okay with the Shannon/Stella pairing though, so I'll write that too if you like :)**

**Thankyou for your patience and ongoing support throughout this story, I hope you enjoyed reading it. :)**

**A Special Thankyou goes out to _NCIS Fan2_8 for her help throughout this fic and helping me when I had doubts :) and thankyou to the reviewers throughout the course of this fanfic:**

**_ankaz123_  
><em>spbabe9<em>  
><em>kirst92<em>  
><em>keelzz64<em>  
><em>Love The RUSH<em>  
><em>Emmy92<em>  
><em>Fleur06<em>  
><em>HeartBradleyJames<em>  
><em>Sivy64<em>  
><em>xxletgoxx<em>**

**I thank anyone who reviews this in the future in advance :) Thankyou again for reading, and don't ever hesitate to PM me an idea :)**


End file.
